JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize