Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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