AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize