We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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