so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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