i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
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and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
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Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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