As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize