My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize