he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
sarcasm needs its own font
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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