I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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