Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize