hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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