what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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