remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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