We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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