He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
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No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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