You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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