wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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