I saw his package. It spoke to me.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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