your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
worst night to have a conscience
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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