Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize