Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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