I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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