dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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