I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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