He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize