tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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