I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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