i don't plan on having that self control this summer
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
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Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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