Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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