Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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