I've blown a few things in my day
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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