He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
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So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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