Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Two words: blizzard sex
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize