I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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