i just had sex bonerless
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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