Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
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The beer is more important than you right now.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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