Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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