I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
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I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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