The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
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