I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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