so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize