i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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