I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
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we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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