I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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