Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize