we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
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You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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