Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize