Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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