You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i out mim tonsoeep
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